Starweaver's Online Book Of Shadows: Christian
CHRISTIAN:
We will worship with the Fundies
With their itchy hair-shirt undies
If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy,"
Then it's good enough for me!
There are those who worship Satan
And are just anticipatin'
Armageddon's conflagratin'
That ain't good enough for me!
It was good for old Jehovah
He had a son who was a nova!
Hey there, Mithras! Move on ova'!
Another resurrection Day!
Let's all listen up to Jesus
He says rich folks like old Croesus
Will be damned until Hell freezes
And that don't sound good to me!
Jerry Falwell thinks he's sav-ed
In a lamb's blood he's been lav-ed
And HE thinks that I'M deprav-ed
But that's good enough for me!
Oh we'll all be Fundamental
And be Holy Testamental
And never Trancendental
And that's good enough for me!
That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers
Fighting demons in his callers
Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS! Eternal life he guarantees us
And that's good enough for me!
We will finally pray to Jesus
From our sins we hope he frees us
And that's good enough for me!
Tho J.C.'s into fish, too,
He's an avatar of Vishnu
So he is welcome here, too,
And that's good enough for me!
Anytime that I start hearin'
"Jesus loves you" I start leerin'
Maybe so, but not like Brian *
Which is good enough for me!
Brother Jerry is a cretin
But with all the cash he's gettin'
Lotsa folks'll be forgettin
It's the "Land of the Free!"
Brother Oral's in his tower,
Trusting in the Lord's power
Getting richer by the hour,
Now he's got the ransom fee!
Brother Robert's church is Crystal
But all the Bible that he's missed'll And not QUITE a wheeler-dealer --
Make you "hotter than a pistol"
But he's good enough for me!
Brother Earnest is a healer
More a jumper and a squealer
So he's good enough for me!
Brother Jim and Sister Tammy
Had a show that was a whammy
But now they are in Miami
Tryin' t'get back on TV!
Then there's good ol' Brother Billy
Bringing souls in willy-nilly.
All his trips are kinda silly,
But he's good enough for me!
Whether Low Church or it's High Church And the Romans said of Jesus
Or it's Pie-Up-In-The-Sky Church
Come on down and visit my Church
'Cause it's good enough for me!
"Lets kill him, he don't please us"
"But the Atheists will tease us"
And thats good enough for me
You could join Jehovah's Witness
Running door to door for fitness
Well if you've been blessed with quickness, He is pious and courageous
Then thats good enough for me
And let's not forget Pelagius
Though some call him outrageous
And he's good enough for me!
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