Listed below are not hard and fast rules, but some helpful guidelines for those who would function smoothly in a craft/Pagan environment.
1. Should you write to someone for information, always enclose an SASE (Self-addressed, Stamped Envelope). Many of us receive several inquiries a day. Sometimes just answering them, much less having to pay the postage and buy envelopes, is a time-consuming, expensive task!
2. Should your inquiry be about Pagan/Craft folks in your area, tell about yourself, and how you came to have our names and wrote to is -after all the Inquisition is alive and sick here in the heart of the Bible Belt. Do not expect names and addresses unless they are already"public". Most of us, even the "public" Pagan/Craft folks prefer to meet people slowly and carefully over a cup of coffee in a public place, before we start introducing you to our groups and our friends.Why should we risk when you have risked nothing? ((Sometimes I get mail that simply has a name and address on it and demand that I send the latest copy of my newslet- ter or the names and addresses/phone numbers of all Craft people in the writer's areas. One man sent me a letter raising hell because he has (according to him) sent me $0.33 in the mail and was waiting on the copy of my newsletter "I owed him"!Sadly, this type of letter is more common than not... his letter and 33 cents, is ever sent, was never received. Do I really have to explain to grown mature adults about sending money through the mails???))
3. If you are invited to a gathering or festival, whether by written or oral invitation, before you invite others, get permission. Because of space, or other considerations, the number of people that can be accommodated might be limited, or certain individuals or groups may not be welcome because of personality conflicts and resulting disharmony. Also, if a weekend gathering is scheduled and you can only arrive for the ritual and then must leave, ask if that is OK...sometimes the ritual is the climax of the entire gathering, rather than an event in itself; in that case to show up only for the ritual not having been part of the entire event is to 'take-away' from the meaning of the whole for those who were there!
4. Always inquire what you should bring to any gathering. If you have received an official invitation, you should have been told. But,assume nothing! Ask if you need to bring food, robes, candles, drinks,eating utensils (forks, cups, plates, etc). It is unreasonable and rude to assume that an invitation to a gathering means that people just like yourselves, will expect you to come and eat their food, use their utensils and leave a mess for them to clean up after you have gone. If you cannot take food, then at least offer the gatherings sponsors a cash donation to help defray their cost. If you can't stay to help clean up afterwards, at least be considerate enough to get your own refuse to a garbage container.
5. To be invited to participate in another's ritual is NOT your right, but rather a privilege and an honor. If you are unfamiliar with their tradition, common courtesy demands that you at least inquire about enough informa- tion to participate in a positive fashion, and most certainly, make no assumptions about adding anything to the circle or placing your "special' crystals, totems, whatever in the circle or at a specific place within the circle without getting permission. Also, do not remove anything from a circle even should you feel it doesn't belong, without explaining why and getting permission.
6. It should not have to be said, but then neither should any of the above: If these Pagan/Craft rituals have no meaning in your life, and if you have just come for the fellow- ship, then enjoy the fellowship and please do not attend the ritual. The circle is a significant part of our entire way of life, not a reenact- ment of some past event just for the sake of the pageantry. When we can, we are pleased to share it with you, and we do so in Love and Light with Peace and Laughter.
1. Be Yourself... if you worry about what others think, then you won't think for yourself... and if you don't think for yourself, you may as well be dead!
2. Allow all others to be themselves... just because Joe Blow from kokomo has blue candles on his altar and you use only white ones, that doesn't mean he is the son of Satan. We must each one be allowed our own Pagan path in freedom, for if we cannot do that, then we have no freedom!
3. Let's stop all the silliness of who is and is not a Witch, and what one must do to be a witch.
4. Don't ask for someone's opinions unless you really want it! More Witch wars are started because someone asked for another's views and didn't like the answer they got!
5. Add a dose of good humor (the worst Witches are the ones that take everything so S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y!)
It is necessary that we learn to be just plain adult about working together - or even, just existing on the same planet.
1. If you can't tolerate any slightest deviation from your own tradition, do not take part in public or cross-cultural rituals or gatherings.
2. If you have ideas of what should be in the ritual; or what should not - go to the planning meeting and express your opinions.
4. Appoint somebody to keep notes of the planning meetings - as things are said, not afterwards, or, inevitably, there will be disagreements about the ground rules.
5. Gossip : There are a few situations wherein it is
legitimate to pass on "gossip". the following suggestions are not all
inclusive but may serve to give guidelines for judging:
a. When a
major life change definitely is occurring to someone with whom you and
the person to whom you pass on the information - frequently work.
b.
When you are acting as resource to help someone decrease a situation of
disagreement.
c. When you really plan to take positive action to
alleviate the situation the gossip refers to.
d. (This situation
really does not occur all that often.) When warning someone about an
individual whose practices are definitely undesirable for a reason
other than that you don't like them.
e. When you have truly accurate
information to counteract damaging and inaccurate rumor.
6. When examining a situation to decide whether or not you, yourself,are under psychic attack, be sure to ask yourself if it couldn't be because being under attack makes you feel important.
7. Within the group or group structure, the High Priest and or High Priestess are generally entitled to your respect and a certain amount of deference. If they really, really don't know as much as you do, perhaps it is time that you take a fond and friendly leave of them/him/her and begin a group of your own.
Obviously, group or group affairs are appropriate subjects for discussion among all the members, and the HP/S definitely should be willing to listen to reasonable suggestions. However, you joined the group in order to learn from its leaders; a year or two of study prob- ably doesn't qualify you to suddenly object to all their teachings, methods, and beliefs.
Above all, it is inappropriate to try to stir up the whole group and "take over" the group. The leaders have put a good deal of time, patience, thought and teaching into building the group and giving it a good name - if you want to be Witch Queen of the Universe, start your own group from scratch and try to become good enough to earn status yourself. The goal is not big groups, it is the best possible groups.
For group leaders: They need to be grown-up enough to know that everydisagreement isn't necessarily a personal attack. They need to developleadership skills to avoid confrontation and inflexibility. They needto know how to lead without dominating and they need an inten- seinterest in the health of the group. The HP/S needs to listen to theideas of the members and to use their ideas whenever posssible. Theyshould be able to explain rationally why certain ideas cannot be used.
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